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Band 6.0CEFR B2Task 2382 words

Demand of food is increasing worlwide. What are the causes of this? What measures can the international community take to make sure the food supply is enough?

The essay addresses both parts of the prompt, discussing causes such as population growth and globalisation, and offering international solutions like open trade and agricultura...

IELTS WritingCEFR B2Checked

Prompt

Demand of food is increasing worlwide. What are the causes of this? What measures can the international community take to make sure the food supply is enough?

Essay review

Annotated essay

Interactive

The need for food is increasingly rising globally. This essay attempts to shed light on the causes of this trend before suggesting some solutions to ensure that there is enough food supply.

The foremost reasons for the increasing food demand are population and globalisation. In recent ages, the number of newborn individuals has experienced a dramatic growth, which requires an enormous supply of food to nurture babies. That of animals simultaneously mirrors such a pattern, demanding enough diet to serve human benefits, including eating itself. Globalisation is also the root cause of this trend. Eating is no longer a habit for mere survival, but has turned into an international culture through exchanged foreign food and worldwide social media. By capturing delicious images of desserts, mastering new, rare, local dishes, or presenting luxury meals, more diverse, exotic cuisines are becoming desired and attracting millions to experience them.

There are some possible measures to ensure the availability of food for the international community. The priority solution is to maintain open trade and fair distribution flowing across the world. Major food exporting nations should continue to provide internation market and consumers, while importing countries must keep ports and borders open, ensuring proper food safety provisions are in place. China is a strong example, which helps sustain market access through its green channels policy, enabling food to be fast-tracked both within provinces and at ports. Furthermore, the food and land use sector should be properly funded with the long-term capital and incentives needed to reward the supply of nutritious, affordable food. Investments can focus on increasing the resilience and diversity of food supply chains, reducing food loss and waste, developing regional food systems, providing vital social protection to farmers and to rural communities, accelerating greater digitisation and transparency across the value chain and rebuilding natural capital. This point must not be overlooked; there is no viable long-term response to the COVID-19 pandemic without the protection and restoration of the world’s critical remaining ecosystems, and a concerted effort to curb the wildlife trade.

In conclusion, the global world nowadays has met with surging food requirements, which can be attributed to a booming population and worldwide integration. With external trade and investment in diverse food and land, we can ultimately avoid a food crisis and ensure its availability.

Improvement plan

Close to Band 6.5

Current Band 6.0

Target Band 6.5

  • Fewer lexical slips and more precise academic collocations.
  • More fully developed and extended arguments in body paragraphs with robust supporting evidence.

Strengths

Task Response

The introduction clearly outlines the roadmap of the essay, mapping out both causes and solutions.

Coherence

Clear topic sentence establishes the scope of the paragraph.

Vocabulary

Incorporates precise discipline-neutral academic and economic vocabulary.

Weaknesses

Lexical Inaccuracies and Awkward Collocations

Medium

Several word choices and collocations are non-standard or imprecise, such as 'internation market' and 'newborn individuals'.

Minor Grammatical and Phrasing Slips

Low

Occasional awkward preposition use, missing adjective endings, and slight stylistic stiffness reduce grammatical polish.

Priority improvements

  1. 1Enhance Lexical Precision and CollocationsAvoid awkward word combinations like 'newborn individuals' or 'internation market' by using precise academic collocations.Impact: Medium
  2. 2Develop Deeper Elaboration and EvidenceExpand on supporting arguments with more rigorous reasoning and robust, globally relevant examples rather than brief descriptions.Impact: Medium

Error patterns

Band & CEFR

Band 6.0

B2

Confidence: High

Assessment summary

The essay addresses both parts of the prompt, discussing causes such as population growth and globalisation, and offering international solutions like open trade and agricultural investment. The argument is generally clear and easy to follow, with an appropriate academic tone. However, the response contains several vocabulary inaccuracies, spelling mistakes, and awkward collocations (e.g., 'internation market', 'number of newborn individuals'), as well as occasional grammatical and stylistic lapses. Overall, it demonstrates competent B2-level performance.

Scoring criteria

Strengths

  • Paragraphs are logically structured, starting with a clear introduction, separate body paragraphs for causes and solutions, and a brief conclusion.
  • Cohesive devices such as 'Furthermore', 'In conclusion', and relative pronouns are used to connect ideas.

Weaknesses

  • Some cohesive transitions feel slightly formulaic or mechanical.
  • Referencing in places lacks precision, such as 'That of animals simultaneously mirrors such a pattern'.

Justification

Information and ideas are generally arranged coherently with clear overall progression, though paragraph internal cohesion and referencing show some awkwardness.

Writing stats

Words
382
Paragraphs
4
Estimated time
3 min read
Grammar issues
1
Lexical suggestions
4
Major issues
0
Minor issues
4
Top error pattern
Form-Level Spelling and Inflection Slips
Confidence
High