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Band 6.0CEFR B2Task 2357 words

Some people think climate change has a negative impact on business, while others think that it provides more business options. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

The essay addresses all parts of the prompt with a clear position and supports arguments with examples, though some supporting ideas rely on general assertions. Coherence is gen...

IELTS WritingCEFR B2Checked

Prompt

Some people think climate change has a negative impact on business, while others think that it provides more business options. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Essay review

Annotated essay

Interactive

Over the few decades, climate change has significantly threatened human lives and even business successes. Climate change affects the physical condition for labors negatively and forces companies to take higher cost for energy. However, a range of new business to protect natural environment has been launched, such as renewable energy and electic vehcles which I consider can generate positive cycle in order to prevent climate change from progressing.

To begin with, it is clear that climate change cause work environment to deteriorate. For instance, when employees commute to the office in summer, devastating heatwave would make them get heatstroke. By this illustration, extremely high temprarture allows workers to lower performances, resulting in decrease in whole company's performance. Moreover, business owners should take responsible for maintaining comfortable environment for not only workers but also the quality of products, which leads to higher cost for energy. Discribing recent trends, the development of AI ends up increasing data centers that require a lot of air conditioning systems. This infallibly reflects the cost in order to continue business, and even leads to increasingly environmental destruction.

In contrast, despite the points outlined above, it should also be recognized that climate change have possibilities to create various business opporttunies. For example, not only electric vehcles that do not produce green gas has been becoming a main stream in the car industory, but also many new ventures for renewable energy has been born over a few years. This trend encourage the maret to expand, resulting in economic growth. In addition, the viewpoint for protecting environment has been essential for even investors. Major invest companies tend to focus on ESG comapnies in recent years, which contributes to companies having more attention to the sustainable system. This helps whole business players initiate activities related with prevention for climate change, as experiencing economic growth.

In summary, business people cannot be inevitable to have negative impact by climate change including the effect for employees' health and increasing cost, while a wide range of new business for protecting envinment allows the economy to grow. I strongly believe that this growth can create more environmental activities and make them develop.

Improvement plan

Close to Band 6.5

Current Band 6.0

Target Band 6.5

  • Consistent control over subject-verb agreement across complex sentences
  • Accurate spelling across all content words and technical terminology
  • More precise academic collocations without awkward word pairings

Strengths

Task Response

The writer establishes a consistent and clear personal opinion throughout the essay, tying the conclusion directly back to the thesis.

Coherence

Body paragraphs open with clear topical statements that set the direction for the ensuing arguments.

Grammar

The writer successfully incorporates subordinate adverbial clauses of time to connect related ideas.

Weaknesses

Subject-Verb Agreement Errors

Medium

Several sentences contain mismatches between singular subjects and plural verbs, or vice versa, which distracts the reader.

Spelling and Collocation Instability

Medium

Frequent spelling errors across key content words and non-standard collocations reduce lexical precision.

Article and Preposition Lapses

Low

Omission or misuse of articles ('Over the few decades') and prepositions occurs throughout the response.

Priority improvements

  1. 1Eliminate Subject-Verb Agreement ErrorsEnsure that singular subjects (such as 'climate change') always take singular verb forms and that plural subjects match plural verbs consistently.Impact: High
  2. 2Improve Spelling and Vocabulary PrecisionReduce spelling errors on common academic and topic vocabulary, and replace unnatural collocations with standard academic phrasing.Impact: Medium

Error patterns

Band & CEFR

Band 6.0

B2

Confidence: High

Assessment summary

The essay addresses all parts of the prompt with a clear position and supports arguments with examples, though some supporting ideas rely on general assertions. Coherence is generally good with clear paragraphing, but some mechanical linkers and awkward phrasing recur. Grammatical and lexical control is mixed; there are noticeable issues with articles, subject-verb agreement, spelling, and word choice, alongside some successful complex structures.

Scoring criteria

Strengths

  • Clear overall progression with distinct introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
  • Appropriate use of paragraph-level topic sentences to guide the reader.

Weaknesses

  • Relies on somewhat formulaic sentence-initial transitions ('To begin with', 'In contrast', 'In summary').
  • Some referential links and cohesive ties are slightly awkward or loose.

Justification

The essay is logically organized into paragraphs with a clear overall structure, fitting Band 6.0. However, cohesive devices are sometimes mechanical and referencing lacks seamless integration.

Writing stats

Words
357
Paragraphs
4
Estimated time
3 min read
Grammar issues
5
Lexical suggestions
5
Major issues
15
Minor issues
1
Top error pattern
Frequent Spelling Errors
Confidence
High