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Band 6.5CEFR B2Task 2275 words

Some people think that governments should pay for education and health care, while others believe that it is not their responsibility. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

The essay addresses all parts of the task by discussing both views and presenting a clear personal opinion. Cohesion is generally logical, and the vocabulary is sufficient for a...

IELTS WritingCEFR B2Checked

Prompt

Some people think that governments should pay for education and health care, while others believe that it is not their responsibility. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Essay review

Annotated essay

Interactive

Some people argue that governments should cover the cost of education and healthcare for their citizens. Some people believe that the cost of education and healthcare of people is the government ‘s responsibility, while others argue that individuals should pay for their education and health by themselves. I believe that most people should pay for these services themselves.

In the modern era, University tuition fees have increased steadily, and medical treatment has also become more expensive . In such circumstances, not everyone can afford these services, so the government should provide financial support to improve people's health. Furthermore, the government should provide scholarships to young people, helping students from low-income families gain access to higher education. This would reduce inequality and improve social mobility. As a result, in the long term better-educated population contributes to the economy and pays higher taxes, which can offset public spending.

On the other hand, I strongly believe that individuals should take responsibility for their own education and health. When the government pays for all people’s education and health care, it leads to higher taxes and also have a negative effect on the government budget. If individuals pay for their own education and health care, they would become more responsible for their future. For example, students who pay part of their tuition are often more motivated to complete their studies because they value the opportunity more highly. In addition, the government should allocate more funding to other sectors such as infrastructure and environmental protection.

In conclusion, although governments should cover the costs of education and healthcare for low-income families, I believe that most people should pay for these services themselves.

Improvement plan

Close to Band 7.0

Current Band 6.5

Target Band 7.0

  • Consistent error-free control of complex grammar structures without subject-verb lapses.
  • More precise lexical variety that avoids repetitive phrasing of key arguments.
  • Flawless punctuation and mechanical accuracy.

Strengths

Task Response

Establishes a clear personal position that is maintained throughout the response.

Coherence

Clear topic sentence that opens the paragraph and establishes a distinct thematic focus.

Vocabulary

Accurate use of advanced academic vocabulary appropriate to the prompt's themes.

Grammar

Successful integration of a conditional sentence structure to explain hypothetical consequences.

Weaknesses

Punctuation and Spacing Lapses

Low

Several minor spacing errors before punctuation marks and incorrect apostrophe spacing occur throughout the essay.

Subject-Verb Agreement Mismatch

Medium

A clear subject-verb agreement error ('it leads... and also have') undermines grammatical accuracy in complex structures.

Argument Nuance and Stance Consistency

Medium

The introduction and conclusion state that most people should pay themselves, while body paragraph 2 advocates government support for low-income families and health, creating slight tension in the overall argument.

Priority improvements

  1. 1Eliminate Subject-Verb Agreement ErrorsEnsure that all verbs correctly agree with their singular or plural subjects, especially when multiple verbs are coordinated in complex sentences.Impact: Medium
  2. 2Refine Punctuation and Spacing MechanicsEliminate stray spaces before punctuation marks, around apostrophes, and between sentences to ensure a polished academic presentation.Impact: Low

Error patterns

Band & CEFR

Band 6.5

B2

Confidence: High

Assessment summary

The essay addresses all parts of the task by discussing both views and presenting a clear personal opinion. Cohesion is generally logical, and the vocabulary is sufficient for academic discourse, featuring some good lexical items and complex structures. However, there are minor issues with article use, spacing, and slight contradictions in stance between the introduction/conclusion and body paragraph two. Grammatical control is mostly solid with some complex attempts, but recurring minor mechanics and punctuation lapses prevent a higher score.

Scoring criteria

Strengths

  • All parts of the prompt are addressed, presenting both sides of the debate regarding government-funded education and healthcare versus individual responsibility.
  • A clear overall stance is maintained throughout the essay and reiterated in the conclusion.
  • Body paragraphs contain relevant explanations and examples, such as the motivation of students who pay their own tuition.

Weaknesses

  • There is a slight internal contradiction in the reasoning: paragraph 2 argues that the government should provide financial support and scholarships to improve health and education, whereas the introduction, paragraph 3, and conclusion state that most people should pay for these services themselves.
  • Some arguments, particularly around public spending offsets, lack deeper elaboration.

Justification

The essay successfully addresses all requirements of the task with a clear position, but minor shifts in scope between advocating universal versus targeted government funding prevent a higher band in task response.

Writing stats

Words
275
Paragraphs
4
Estimated time
3 min read
Grammar issues
4
Lexical suggestions
4
Major issues
1
Minor issues
4
Top error pattern
Punctuation and Spacing Errors
Confidence
High