Back to examples
Band 7.5CEFR C1Task 2378 words

Air transport is increasingly used to transport fruits and vegetables to other countries where they cannot be grown or are out of season. Some people say this is good but other believe the use of air transport for this purpose is not justified. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

This is a well-structured, coherent essay that successfully discusses both views and provides a clear, reasoned personal stance. The vocabulary is sophisticated, academic, and g...

IELTS WritingCEFR C1Checked

Prompt

Air transport is increasingly used to transport fruits and vegetables to other countries where they cannot be grown or are out of season. Some people say this is good but other believe the use of air transport for this purpose is not justified. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Essay review

Annotated essay

Interactive

The worldwide commerce of fresh goods through air travel has grown into a pillar of contemporary consumerism, permitting fruits and vegetables to be obtainable all-year-round irrespective of location. Although certain people claim that this custom is vital for financial growth and buyer selection, others maintain that the ecological expense renders it indefensible. This composition will investigate both viewpoints prior to asserting that the environmental effect requires a transition toward more sustainable regional consumption.

On the one hand, the international air shipping of produce presents substantial economic and nutritional advantages. For developing countries, exporting high-priced crops to richer markets is a crucial origin of foreign currency and supplies jobs for millions of small-scale farmers. For instance, the Kenyan agricultural sector depends greatly on air freight to supply fresh beans and flowers to Europe, supporting a major branch of its economy. Furthermore, from a buyer perspective, entry to a varied assortment of fresh produce throughout the year guarantees a nutrient-dense diet, especially in high-latitude nations where numerous crops cannot be cultivated during winter seasons.

On the other hand, the environmental case against air-freighting food is persuasive. Aviation is one of the most carbon-heavy methods of travel, releasing considerably more greenhouse gases per tonne-kilometer than sea or train. Detractors assert that moving "luxury" out-of-season produce, such as raspberries in January or asparagus from a different hemisphere, is an ecological indulgence that the Earth cannot bear in the presence of a climate emergency. Additionally, this dependence on global supply chains frequently discourages the growth of domestic agriculture and seasonal eating behaviors, which are inherently greener and less dependent on fossil fuels.

In my view, while the financial gains to exporting countries are indisputable, the long-range environmental destruction brought on by air transit is not warranted. The ease of having exotic fruits reachable 24/7 does not outweigh the carbon footprint produced by such journeys. We should instead prioritize "food sovereignty," where nations invest in greenhouse technologies or seasonal preservation techniques to decrease their reliance on air-freighted imports.

In summary, although air travel supports global economies and delivers nutritional diversity, its contribution to global warming is a steep cost to pay. I think that both consumers and governments ought to favor locally produced, seasonal produce to lessen the environmental consequence of our food systems.

Improvement plan

Close to Band 8.0

Current Band 7.5

Target Band 8.0

  • Consistent use of completely natural academic collocations without any minor awkward pairings.
  • Even greater lexical precision and stylistic variety throughout all body paragraphs.

Strengths

Task Response

Establishes a clear, nuanced thesis in the introduction that is consistently maintained and resolved in the conclusion.

Task Response

Provides a specific, localized empirical example that effectively supports the economic argument.

Coherence

Opens the paragraph with a clear thematic topic sentence that controls all subsequent supporting details.

Vocabulary

Integrates an advanced and precise descriptive collocation suited to academic argumentation.

Grammar

Successfully integrates a complex concessive clause structure with accurate clause coordination.

Weaknesses

Minor Collocation Inaccuracies

Low

Occasional pairings like 'crucial origin' or 'buyer perspective' lack the standard academic phrasing expected at higher lexical bands.

Minor Prepositional and Article Lapses

Low

Isolated instances of awkward preposition usage slightly interrupt the natural flow of advanced sentences.

Priority improvements

  1. 1Refine Academic CollocationsReplace minor non-standard combinations (such as 'crucial origin' or 'buyer perspective') with precise academic pairings to elevate Lexical Resource to Band 8.0.Impact: Medium
  2. 2Polishing Prepositional UsagePay closer attention to phrasal verb particles and prepositions (e.g., 'brought about' instead of 'brought on') to ensure flawless expression.Impact: Low

Error patterns

Band & CEFR

Band 7.5

C1

Confidence: High

Assessment summary

This is a well-structured, coherent essay that successfully discusses both views and provides a clear, reasoned personal stance. The vocabulary is sophisticated, academic, and generally precise, though a few minor collocation and word-choice lapses occur. Grammatical range and accuracy are strong, featuring various complex structures with only minor occasional article or preposition issues.

Scoring criteria

Strengths

  • Demonstrates a wide resource of academic vocabulary and precise nominalisations (e.g., 'contemporary consumerism', 'ecological indulgence').
  • Integrates high-value topic-specific collocations naturally ('carbon-heavy methods', 'global supply chains').

Weaknesses

  • Occasional non-standard word choices or slightly awkward collocations appear, such as 'crucial origin' instead of 'crucial source' and 'buyer perspective' instead of 'consumer perspective'.

Justification

While the vocabulary range is wide and flexibly used, minor inaccuracies in collocation prevent the score from reaching Band 7.5 or higher.

Writing stats

Words
378
Paragraphs
5
Estimated time
3 min read
Grammar issues
1
Lexical suggestions
5
Major issues
0
Minor issues
2
Top error pattern
Minor Preposition and Word Choice Lapses
Confidence
High