Back to examples
Band 7.0CEFR C1Essay266 words

Although many people value their public parks, this space could be better used for other purposes such as residential areas for the ever growing population or to develop business and boost economies. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this?

The essay presents a well-organized, clear response to the prompt with a consistently maintained position. Coherence and cohesion are strong, supported by logical paragraph prog...

IELTS WritingCEFR C1Checked

Prompt

Although many people value their public parks, this space could be better used for other purposes such as residential areas for the ever growing population or to develop business and boost economies. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this?

Essay review

Annotated essay

Interactive

In the current world, it is indisputable that municipal area is progressively restricted owing to demographic increase and financial expansion. Certain individuals contend that communal parks ought to be substituted with housing or business constructions to better utilize land. Although a few may concur with this perspective, I am against it owing to several motives, which will be scrutinized in this composition.

One of the most obvious grounds is that communal parks play a vital part in enhancing the quality of living and public wellness. To demonstrate, botanical zones supply zones for physical activity, repose, and communal engagement, which are indispensable in hectic metropolitan settings. For example, citizens can utilize parks for strolling, athletics, and recreational pursuits, which assist lower tension and better physical wellness. In addition, parks contribute to purer air and a healthier milieu by diminishing contamination and supplying natural cooling effects.

Another argument that should not be neglected is that substituting parks with edifices may lead to long-term adverse repercussions. To elucidate, although residential and commercial developments may supply short-term financial advantages, they can diminish ecological sustainability. For instance, excessive building might augment pollution, traffic congestion, and urban heat, rendering metropolises less habitable. Furthermore, the loss of communal spaces can weaken neighborhood connections, as humans possess fewer spots to congregate and communicate.

To summarize, it is apparent that communal parks offer substantial advantages for wellness, environment, and community life, while substituting them with development may generate long-term issues. Consequently, I strongly trust that public parks ought to be conserved, and administrations should seek alternative methods to handle municipal growth without sacrificing green spaces.

Improvement plan

Close to Band 7.5

Current Band 7.0

Target Band 7.5

  • More precise and idiomatic collocations throughout the essay.
  • Completely error-free sentence structures without minor noun or verb slips.

Strengths

Task Response

The introduction establishes a clear and transparent thesis that is maintained throughout the essay.

Coherence

The body paragraph starts with a clear analytical topic sentence that sets the thematic scope.

Vocabulary

Advanced academic vocabulary is integrated naturally to discuss complex urban planning issues.

Grammar

Complex subordination is used accurately to link contrasting ideas within a single sentence.

Weaknesses

Occasional Unnatural Collocations

Low

Certain word pairings and lexical choices deviate slightly from standard native academic usage.

Minor Noun and Article Lapses

Low

Occasional lapses in pluralization and noun countability (e.g., 'municipal area' instead of 'municipal areas').

Priority improvements

  1. 1Refine Word Choices and CollocationsReplacing slightly unnatural collocations like 'better physical wellness' with precise academic alternatives will elevate lexical resource.Impact: Medium
  2. 2Ensure Consistent PluralizationCheck noun countability and ensure plural forms are used consistently when discussing general categories.Impact: Low

Error patterns

Band & CEFR

Band 7.0

C1

Confidence: High

Assessment summary

The essay presents a well-organized, clear response to the prompt with a consistently maintained position. Coherence and cohesion are strong, supported by logical paragraph progression. Lexical resource is generally sophisticated, though occasional unnatural word choices occur. Grammatical structures are varied and mostly accurate, with minor mechanical flaws.

Scoring criteria

Strengths

  • Establishes a clear, explicit position in the introduction and maintains it throughout the essay.
  • Provides relevant body paragraphs exploring both public health/wellness and ecological sustainability.

Weaknesses

  • Examples rely somewhat on general descriptions rather than specific, concrete case studies or statistics.

Justification

The prompt is fully addressed with a clear stance and coherent development, fulfilling the Band 7 criteria for Task Response.

Writing stats

Words
266
Paragraphs
4
Estimated time
3 min read
Grammar issues
2
Lexical suggestions
5
Major issues
0
Minor issues
3
Top error pattern
Singular/Plural Noun Agreement Lapses
Confidence
High