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Band 5.0CEFR B1Essay268 words

Every country has poor people and every country has different ways of dealing with the poor. What are some of the reasons for poverty? What can we do to help the poor? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

The essay addresses both parts of the prompt by discussing reasons for poverty and solutions, and it maintains a clear overall stance. However, it is affected by frequent gramma...

IELTS WritingCEFR B1Checked

Prompt

Every country has poor people and every country has different ways of dealing with the poor. What are some of the reasons for poverty? What can we do to help the poor? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Essay review

Annotated essay

Interactive

Nowadays, poverty exists in every nation, although the reasons and solutions may differ from place to place. There are several cause of poverty, and both government and individuals can take steps to reduce it. This essay will discuss both views after see my perspective.

To commence with, there are several reasons to cause poverty. In contemporary era, individuals suffer to find out job's, unemployment increased significantly, because of all jobs are skill- based. Another reason is lack of education. Some people are unable to study due to financial problems. They cannot afford the expensive cost of education. For example, in many cities, we can see young children on the streets who are not attending school and are forced to work to support their families. As a result,

Many people do not have access to education; as a result, they are unable to find well-paid jobs.

Furthermore, there are some solution reduced poverty. Government should be provide free of cost education, and train to individuals for skill based job's, which can help decreased poverty significantly. Moreover, government should provide jobs opportunities in all departments, and supporting to the charity these measures can significantly improves the living standards of poor people's. For instance, free schooling can help children from poor families build a better future.

From my own experience, I have noticed that many poor families struggle to send their children to school, as a result, these children face limited opportunities in the future.

In conclusion, poverty is caused by factors such as unemployment and lack of education. However, with proper government policies and individual efforts, poverty can be reduced.

Improvement plan

Close to Band 5.5

Current Band 5.0

Target Band 5.5

  • Consistent control of simple and complex sentence structures with fewer basic grammatical errors.
  • Accurate word formation and natural collocations without recurring punctuation lapses like sentence fragments.

Strengths

Task Response

Establishes a recognizable stance indicating that the essay will cover both causes and solutions.

Weaknesses

Pervasive Grammatical Inaccuracies

High

Frequent errors in subject-verb agreement, verb forms following modals, and incorrect apostrophe usage disrupt readability.

Sentence Fragments and Punctuation Lapses

Medium

The presence of an unfinished sentence ('As a result,') breaks the flow of logic within the paragraph.

Word Formation and Collocation Errors

High

Inaccurate word forms (e.g., 'solution reduced poverty', 'job's') indicate limited control over academic lexis.

Priority improvements

  1. 1Eliminate Grammatical Errors in Verb Forms and AgreementPervasive subject-verb agreement issues and incorrect verb forms after modals significantly lower the grammar score. Reviewing fundamental rules will yield immediate improvement.Impact: High
  2. 2Improve Punctuation and Avoid Sentence FragmentsThe essay contains incomplete sentences and comma splices that disrupt logical progression. Practising correct sentence boundary control is essential.Impact: Medium
  3. 3Expand Vocabulary Range and Ensure Accurate Word FormationFrequent awkward collocations and incorrect plurals with apostrophes restrict lexical scoring. Focus on accurate word choices and standard academic collocations.Impact: Medium

Error patterns

Band & CEFR

Band 5.0

B1

Confidence: High

Assessment summary

The essay addresses both parts of the prompt by discussing reasons for poverty and solutions, and it maintains a clear overall stance. However, it is affected by frequent grammatical errors, awkward word choices, punctuation lapses (such as a sentence fragment), and repetitive vocabulary. Cohesion is occasionally disrupted by mechanical transitional phrasing and redundant repetition of ideas between body paragraphs and the conclusion.

Scoring criteria

Strengths

  • All parts of the prompt are addressed, identifying both reasons for poverty and measures to help the poor.
  • A recognizable position is presented throughout the introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.

Weaknesses

  • Some arguments are repetitive or lack deep extension, and certain points are restated almost identically across paragraphs.
  • The introduction contains awkward framing ('after see my perspective').

Justification

The essay addresses both questions, satisfying the basic requirements for Task Response. However, because some ideas are underdeveloped and repetitive, and the thesis statement is awkwardly phrased, it does not reach Band 6.0.

Writing stats

Words
268
Paragraphs
6
Estimated time
3 min read
Grammar issues
12
Lexical suggestions
4
Major issues
12
Minor issues
5
Top error pattern
Incorrect Apostrophe and Plural Forms
Confidence
High