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Band 4.0CEFR B1Task 2296 words

In their advertising, business nowadays usually emphasize that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

The essay addresses both parts of the prompt with a clear position, but it suffers from severe grammatical inaccuracies, extremely repetitive vocabulary, non-standard sentence b...

IELTS WritingCEFR B1Checked

Prompt

In their advertising, business nowadays usually emphasize that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Essay review

Annotated essay

Interactive

Nowadays, businesses are running advertising campaigns to showcase their merchandise such that it looks distinct from rival companies advertisements. Overall i believe this is a positive trend because i offers more benefits than disadvantages.

Oraganizations advertise their product that makes them emphasis in new way because different style of advertisment makes their product unique from other companies product because of this it attracts more attention form people which helps companies growth.

there are many benfits of advertising their goods in some new way as it helps companies to boost their sales. In other words, using different style of advertisement helps them to showcase their product to grab attention of their prior consumer. For Example, a solar companie named goldi solar who has very differnent advertisiment in which they had built a banner with solar that banner locked very beautiful due to this marketing technique this gives more attention from customer which helps increase their companies sales and also helps in growth of companies.

Moreover, marketing about the product in new way will helps to lower their competitons from other companies. Which means that, showcasing their product will help their customer to grab more information from the product will more about that business which overall results in lower competitons. Furthermore business will more work on inovitation their product to lower thier comptition from other companies in order to get their business on the top this will help the customer to get more choice form the companies.

In conclusion, from my perspective i would think that advertising used by the business to emphasis their product is a positive development because advertising in some new way will grab customer attention which will boost their sales and also help them to inovate new product by that companies for their growth.

Improvement plan

Close to Band 4.5

Current Band 4.0

Target Band 4.5

  • More controlled sentence boundaries with fewer run-on errors.
  • Basic spelling accuracy for common academic and content words.
  • Clearer subject-verb agreement across simple and compound sentences.

Strengths

No strengths listed.

Weaknesses

Severe Grammatical Instability

High

Frequent errors in subject-verb agreement, verb tenses, and modals disrupt sentence clarity.

Run-On Sentences and Poor Punctuation

High

Long, unpunctuated clauses strung together with commas create severe readability issues.

High Spelling Error Density

High

Repeated spelling mistakes on basic and academic words reduce lexical credibility.

Priority improvements

  1. 1Eliminate Run-On Sentences and FragmentsThe essay contains several long, unpunctuated clauses and sentence fragments starting with 'Which'. Learning proper sentence boundaries will instantly boost Coherence and Cohesion.Impact: High
  2. 2Improve Spelling AccuracyFrequent spelling mistakes ('Oraganizations', 'benfits', 'inovitation', 'thier') detract from Lexical Resource. Proofreading practice will help eliminate basic errors.Impact: High
  3. 3Ensure Subject-Verb AgreementErrors like 'i offers' and 'who has' for plural companies weaken grammatical control. Focus on matching singular/plural subjects with correct verb inflections.Impact: Medium

Error patterns

Band & CEFR

Band 4.0

B1

Confidence: High

Assessment summary

The essay addresses both parts of the prompt with a clear position, but it suffers from severe grammatical inaccuracies, extremely repetitive vocabulary, non-standard sentence boundaries (run-on sentences and fragments), and very poor paragraph structure. The low lexical and grammatical control severely hinders communication and places the essay firmly at Band 4.0.

Scoring criteria

Strengths

  • Basic paragraph divisions are present to separate the introduction, body, and conclusion.

Weaknesses

  • Body paragraphs feature massive, unpunctuated run-on sentences that make progression difficult to follow.
  • Cohesive devices are used mechanically or incorrectly (e.g., dangling sentence-initial fragments like 'Which means that').

Justification

Paragraphing is inadequate and sentences frequently lack proper internal logic or structural boundaries, leading to significant reader effort, consistent with Band 4.0.

Writing stats

Words
296
Paragraphs
5
Estimated time
3 min read
Grammar issues
13
Lexical suggestions
6
Major issues
16
Minor issues
7
Top error pattern
Severe Spelling Mistakes
Confidence
High