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Band 6.5CEFR B2Task 2251 words

Influence of human beings on the world's ecosystem is leading to the extinction of species and loss of biodiversity. What are the causes of loss of biodiversity? What solutions can you suggest?

The essay addresses both parts of the prompt by discussing causes of biodiversity loss and suggesting viable solutions. The argument is coherent and easy to follow, with clear p...

IELTS WritingCEFR B2Checked

Prompt

Influence of human beings on the world's ecosystem is leading to the extinction of species and loss of biodiversity. What are the causes of loss of biodiversity? What solutions can you suggest?

Essay review

Annotated essay

Interactive

The current economy is altering the earth surrounding us in a drastic manner. This has impacted the environment in a way that is causing the decline of wildlife. The upcoming paragraphs will discuss the causes and the potential solutions for this issue.

To start with, there are two apparent reasons for species extinction namely pollution and the destruction of habitat. Firstly, industrial growth has exponentially increased various kinds of pollution that have harmed the natural flow of the ecosystem. For example. chemical factories release many hazardous substances into the rivers without proper treatment putting aquatic life at risk. Secondly. humans consume needlessly more land for housing, farming, and infrastructure resulting in a shrinkage of the area for flora and fauna.

To deal with this, some potential solutions are safeguarding natural regions and promoting awareness among humans about the importance of other lives on Earth. First of all. the government can modify the laws and create natural parks to separate human and animal life. Furthermore, the spread of information regarding the significance of the environmental system will encourage the public to ponder the problem. Consequently, this will put authorities on their feet to take action. To cite an instance, in Britain, an anti-coal protest resulted in the nation's move to utilise wind instead of coal for energy generation.

In essence, people's small activities negatively affect the environment and disrupt the world's ecosystem. However, the loss of biodiversity can be remarkably decreased by safeguarding the natural zones and educating people on the issue.

Improvement plan

Close to Band 7.0

Current Band 6.5

Target Band 7.0

  • Flawless punctuation control without sentence fragment errors caused by incorrect full stops.
  • More sophisticated and precise academic vocabulary throughout the essay.

Strengths

Task Response

Clearly outlines the essay's structure and directly engages with the prompt requirements.

Coherence

Provides a clear topic sentence that guides the reader through the paragraph's theme.

Weaknesses

Punctuation and Sentence Boundary Errors

Medium

The writer repeatedly places full stops where commas or semicolons are required, breaking up sentences incorrectly.

Occasional Informal Phrasing

Low

Phrases like 'people's small activities' lower the academic register of the essay.

Priority improvements

  1. 1Eliminate Punctuation LapsesAvoid using full stops after introductory transitional expressions like 'For example' and 'Secondly'. Ensure proper comma usage to connect clauses.Impact: Medium
  2. 2Enhance Lexical PrecisionReplace informal or vague phrases like 'people's small activities' and 'needlessly more land' with precise academic collocations.Impact: Medium

Error patterns

Band & CEFR

Band 6.5

B2

Confidence: High

Assessment summary

The essay addresses both parts of the prompt by discussing causes of biodiversity loss and suggesting viable solutions. The argument is coherent and easy to follow, with clear paragraphing. However, there are minor mechanical errors such as punctuation lapses (periods used instead of commas before transitional words or within sentences) and some repetitive or slightly informal vocabulary, preventing a higher band.

Scoring criteria

Strengths

  • Demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary suitable for discussing environmental issues ('biodiversity', 'ecosystem', 'hazardous substances', 'infrastructure').

Weaknesses

  • Relies on some colloquial or slightly imprecise expressions ('needlessly more land', 'people's small activities').
  • Lacks the more sophisticated, precise collocations and advanced lexical control required for Band 7.

Justification

Vocabulary is sufficient to communicate meaning clearly, but occasional awkward phrasing and lack of high-level precision limit the score to 6.0.

Writing stats

Words
251
Paragraphs
4
Estimated time
2 min read
Grammar issues
0
Lexical suggestions
5
Major issues
3
Minor issues
1
Top error pattern
Misuse of Full Stops Instead of Commas
Confidence
High