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Band 4.5CEFR B1Essay324 words

More and more plastic is polluting the oceans. What problems are caused by plastic waste? What can be done to solve this problem?

The essay addresses both parts of the prompt regarding the problems and solutions of plastic waste in oceans. However, it suffers from severe grammatical errors, including persi...

IELTS WritingCEFR B1Checked

Prompt

More and more plastic is polluting the oceans. What problems are caused by plastic waste? What can be done to solve this problem?

Essay review

Annotated essay

Interactive

UnSustainable methods has a vital role in our existence, that contains contamination in the Air from Greengas or even by dumping garbage in the seas like plastic. In the following pharagraphs, we will discuss the negative impact and some methods to resolve this problem.

The application of Plastic and discarding it in the ocean had effected all kinds of living creatures in the sea such as turtles, fish, and dolphines.

The cause behind it is that these animals are unable to spot whether a specific item can be used as food or not, therefore they ingest it which would ultimatly negatively affect their diegestive system. Therefore, this will increase their chance of dying or even poorly living, such as the attachment on their anatomy parts. For example, the incedent that accured in the Red Sea, where a group of researchers inspected the ocean and discovered that 8% of a specific zone in the Red Sea have had cretures that were injured, like a small dolphine that had a plastic bag around its neck, which caused difficulty to swim.

All these problems need to be solved by utilizing varous methods. First, we must raise the awarness of the global issue that is effecting the ocean, because most individuals dont realise how much this would cost us not only in the short term but also in the next generation. Second, we need to increase our usage of more sustainable items even as small as using a metal straw instead of a plastic one, even though its a small change this would increase the protection in the oceans. In fact, every person who stops using a plastic straw raises the protection of sea creatures approximately by 12%.

In conclusion, There are so many practices that we can develop in a more sustainble ways. However, it would be better to start with the small things so that people can have awarness and then begin transfering to larger stuff.

Improvement plan

Close to Band 5.0

Current Band 4.5

Target Band 5.0

  • Fewer basic spelling and grammatical errors that impede readability.
  • More controlled sentence structures with correct punctuation and subordination.
  • Clearer paragraph organization with logical progression.

Strengths

Task Response

The writer outlines the essay structure and indicates an intent to address both prompt requirements.

Weaknesses

Frequent Grammatical and Agreement Errors

High

The essay contains multiple errors in subject-verb agreement, verb tenses, and sentence boundaries, which impede readability.

High Spelling and Word Formation Density

High

Numerous misspellings (e.g., 'pharagraphs', 'dolphines', 'diegestive', 'awarness') reduce lexical reliability.

Fragmented Paragraphing and Mechanical Linking

Medium

Stray single-sentence paragraphs and repetitive connectors ('Therefore', 'First', 'Second') weaken overall cohesion.

Priority improvements

  1. 1Eliminate Grammatical and Agreement ErrorsFix recurring subject-verb agreement mismatches and tense control issues to improve overall grammatical accuracy.Impact: High
  2. 2Improve Spelling and Vocabulary PrecisionAddress the high density of spelling errors (e.g., 'awarness', 'ultimatly', 'dolphines') and use formal academic vocabulary.Impact: High
  3. 3Enhance Cohesion and ParagraphingAvoid single-sentence paragraphs and vary cohesive devices beyond repetitive introductory linkers.Impact: Medium

Error patterns

Band & CEFR

Band 4.5

B1

Confidence: High

Assessment summary

The essay addresses both parts of the prompt regarding the problems and solutions of plastic waste in oceans. However, it suffers from severe grammatical errors, including persistent subject-verb agreement issues, tense control problems, spelling mistakes, and awkward lexical choices. Coherence is hindered by weak paragraph structures and repetitive linking devices, leading to an overall Band 4.5 level.

Scoring criteria

Strengths

  • Basic paragraph structure is attempted with distinct sections for introduction, problems, solutions, and conclusion.

Weaknesses

  • Paragraphs are poorly organized; the second paragraph consists of a single sentence that should logically be part of the body paragraph explaining the problems.
  • Repetitive use of cohesive devices, particularly the over-reliance on 'Therefore' and 'First... Second...', creates a mechanical and unsophisticated flow.

Justification

While information is presented with some overall progression, the paragraphing is fractured, and cohesive devices are used repetitively and sometimes inaccurately, capping the score at Band 4.5.

Writing stats

Words
324
Paragraphs
5
Estimated time
3 min read
Grammar issues
10
Lexical suggestions
4
Major issues
18
Minor issues
7
Top error pattern
Recurring Spelling Mistakes
Confidence
High