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Band 4.0CEFR B1Essay360 words

Nowadays many people have an unhealthy diet and do not exercise regularly. What are the reasons behind this trend? How we can encourage these people to live a health life.

The response addresses both parts of the prompt in a general way, but suffers from severe, pervasive grammatical and lexical errors, highly fragmented paragraphing, and a lack o...

IELTS WritingCEFR B1Checked

Prompt

Nowadays many people have an unhealthy diet and do not exercise regularly. What are the reasons behind this trend? How we can encourage these people to live a health life.

Essay review

Annotated essay

Interactive

Todays life is extremely fast . we are dwelling in a community where have to finish maximum task in one go. This need a lot of power and because of this the humans are facing serious mental and phsyical issues.

This is all due to unhealthy diet and lake of awarness regarding workout and exercise.

Furtheremore, there are many reasons which are making humans a complete pakage of dseases.

The main issue which I would like to address, is unlimited penetration of electronic devies in our daily life. Now a days it is a commen practice that all type of work are transferd from human being to machines.

Thses electronic device are so powerful and having ability to complete the given taks in less time and making humans dependent of these machines and effecting the behaviour and attuide of the masses towards each other.

On more thing , I would like to add, that In the recent past people have enough time for there friends and family but it going to be reducing day by day

Main object of healty life is to take proper nuration and should have regular excercise but unfortunately as I mentiontioned earlier that our so called business and too much used of sicial media not only made us inert but also putting negative impact on our health. Due to our buzy scheduale we have no time to sit with our family members and take proper meal , if feel appitite than fast food is a quick and easy salution, But while saving our time we forget the reality that healthy food is necessary for being a healthy person,

When we avoide organic food and and addicted of prcessod food, this creates a kind of laziness and avoidance of regulaer excercise

I concluded my essy with the argument that if we want to build a community which consist of healthy and mently fit people, who can play there constructive role for the batterment of the country than we have to use all electonic and print media and internet sources espacially the social platforms to launch an awarness compagin regarding healthy diet and benifits of daily exercise,

Improvement plan

Close to Band 4.5

Current Band 4.0

Target Band 4.5

  • Fewer basic spelling errors that impede communication
  • More stable sentence boundaries with fewer comma splices
  • Clearer paragraph organization and development of ideas

Strengths

No strengths listed.

Weaknesses

Pervasive Grammatical Instability

High

Frequent missing subjects, incorrect verb forms, and sentence boundary errors obscure meaning.

Extreme Spelling and Word Formation Density

High

Widespread misspellings across common and academic terms require constant rereading.

Fragmented Paragraphing and Poor Cohesion

High

The essay is broken into many isolated, single-sentence paragraphs lacking unified progression.

Priority improvements

  1. 1Eliminate Spelling and Word Formation ErrorsNumerous misspellings (e.g., 'phsyical', 'awarness', 'devies') severely reduce lexical and grammatical scores.Impact: High
  2. 2Improve Sentence Boundaries and PunctuationFrequent comma splices and missing capitalization after periods make the essay hard to follow.Impact: High
  3. 3Develop Unified ParagraphsMany paragraphs consist of single sentences without adequate elaboration or clear logical grouping.Impact: Medium

Error patterns

Band & CEFR

Band 4.0

B1

Confidence: High

Assessment summary

The response addresses both parts of the prompt in a general way, but suffers from severe, pervasive grammatical and lexical errors, highly fragmented paragraphing, and a lack of clear academic cohesion. Sentence boundaries are frequently broken, and spelling errors are numerous, making the text difficult to follow.

Scoring criteria

Strengths

  • Attempts to use transition markers such as 'Furtheremore' and 'When we avoide'.

Weaknesses

  • Paragraphing is highly erratic, consisting of single sentences or very brief blocks that lack internal logical progression.
  • Cohesive devices are frequently misspelled or misused, resulting in disjointed transitions.

Justification

Paragraph structure fails to present a clear progression of ideas, and logical relationships between sentences are often obscure, supporting a Band 4.0 score.

Writing stats

Words
360
Paragraphs
9
Estimated time
3 min read
Grammar issues
10
Lexical suggestions
9
Major issues
11
Minor issues
33
Top error pattern
Frequent Spelling Errors
Confidence
High