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Band 5.0CEFR B1Essay204 words

“Prevention is better than cure”. Researching and treating disease is too costly so it would be better to invest in preventative measures. To what extent do you agree.

The essay addresses the prompt with a clear position in favour of preventative measures, but the development is repetitive, overly simplistic, and lacks fully elaborated support...

IELTS WritingCEFR B1Checked

Prompt

“Prevention is better than cure”. Researching and treating disease is too costly so it would be better to invest in preventative measures. To what extent do you agree.

Essay review

Annotated essay

Interactive

There is no denying the fact that nowadays people become more awarence about how to become healthier. While it is a commonly held belief that researching and treating disease is expensive , so it would be prevention is better than cure,there is also an argument that opposes it. In my opinion, I consider that investments in preventative measures are so much better.

To begin with, prevention is less costly than a cure. In other words, treating disease costs governments large amounts. In addition, prevention such as vaccinations and periodic check-ups is cheaper , so the governments can save money in the long term. For example, providing free vaccinations or periodic health checks.

Another point to consider, Prevention help to reduce the number of patients

. It is also possible to say that if people fllowing healthy lifestyle reduce the incidence of diseases, this relieves the pressure on hospitals and doctors. Moreover, improving the quality of life, it helps people on life with better health. For instance, reduce pain and suffering, and increase the average age.

In conclusion, despite people having different views, I believe that prevention helps to reduce costs and save money, also reduce number of patients and improves people's quality of life.

Improvement plan

Close to Band 5.5

Current Band 5.0

Target Band 5.5

  • Fewer basic grammatical errors, particularly avoiding sentence fragments and subject-verb agreement slips.
  • Better development of supporting ideas in body paragraphs with complete, grammatically correct examples.
  • Improved lexical range and more accurate word formation without spelling mistakes like 'awarence'.

Strengths

Task Response

Establishes a direct and easily identifiable personal stance in the introduction.

Weaknesses

Frequent Grammatical Errors and Fragments

High

The essay contains multiple subject-verb agreement errors, fragmented clauses, and incorrect auxiliary usage that lower grammatical accuracy.

Underdeveloped Supporting Examples

High

Body paragraphs lack full expansion and present incomplete examples or sweeping assertions.

Mechanical Linker Usage and Stray Fragments

Medium

Sentences are occasionally broken up incorrectly by rogue punctuation or lack grammatical connection.

Priority improvements

  1. 1Eliminate Sentence Fragments and Ensure Complete ClausesThe essay contains multiple sentence fragments (such as 'For example, providing free vaccinations...') that lack main verbs. Ensuring every sentence has a complete subject-verb structure will greatly improve grammar and coherence.Impact: High
  2. 2Improve Subject-Verb Agreement and Tense ControlRecurring errors like 'Prevention help' and incorrect verb forms undermine grammatical accuracy. Paying closer attention to singular/plural agreements will boost the grammar score.Impact: High
  3. 3Expand and Develop Supporting ExamplesBody paragraphs rely on brief, incomplete assertions rather than fully explained examples with specific context. Developing each point with detailed elaboration will strengthen Task Response.Impact: Medium

Error patterns

Band & CEFR

Band 5.0

B1

Confidence: High

Assessment summary

The essay addresses the prompt with a clear position in favour of preventative measures, but the development is repetitive, overly simplistic, and lacks fully elaborated supporting examples. There are frequent grammatical errors, awkward collocations, and punctuation issues that hinder smooth readability, though the general meaning remains understandable.

Scoring criteria

Strengths

  • Some simple sentences are grammatically correct and understandable.

Weaknesses

  • Persistent subject-verb agreement and tense/clause control errors, such as 'Prevention help', 'people fllowing', and 'it would be prevention is better than cure'.
  • Frequent punctuation and spacing errors around commas and periods.

Justification

Grammatical control is weak, with multiple major errors in simple and complex structures, sentence fragments, and frequent basic slips that impede accuracy across the text.

Writing stats

Words
204
Paragraphs
5
Estimated time
2 min read
Grammar issues
9
Lexical suggestions
4
Major issues
10
Minor issues
3
Top error pattern
Punctuation and Spacing Lapses
Confidence
High