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Band 4.5CEFR B1Task 2290 words

Some people believe that companies should manufacturing products that last for a long time. Others feel that the emphasis should be place on producing goods that are cheap. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

The essay addresses both views and provides a clear opinion, meeting the basic task requirements, but the development of ideas is limited and repetitive. Coherence is hindered b...

IELTS WritingCEFR B1Checked

Prompt

Some people believe that companies should manufacturing products that last for a long time. Others feel that the emphasis should be place on producing goods that are cheap. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Essay review

Annotated essay

Interactive

The manufactured items are in massive demand throughout the world. Some say that enterprises should produce products for long-lasting, whereas others consider that manufacturing companies should produce inexpensive goods. I strongly agree with the former opinion because long-duration goods will save money for not buying often.

On the one hand, production companies ought to be produced a long period of things which is a better quality of products so that people have to save their money from buying frequently. The quality is determined the duration of the products. For example, the Apple smartphone is the long-lasting product by a better standard of quality, and as a result, this company have a massive amount of happiest customers. To be more precise, when a company will start to produce long-duration goods while the environment also will protect from pollution which toxic chemicals mixed into the air.

Therefore, enterprises ought to produce the goods which has long-lasting.

On the other hand, companies should produce the cheap goods so sales would increase as well as demand also will be increased so that monopoly situation have to be removed in the world market. Because competitior's companies try to sales goods with a low cost, people's buying ratio increases. For instance, smartphones price is inexpensive in the world market, many top companies also sales with a low amount so that they will increase the demand by reducing the price. Hence, production enterprises should produce cheap goods.

To conclude, Although manufacturing companies ought to produce goods with long-lasting in order to people do not buy goods often, demand and sales will be increased when manufacturing companies reduce their good's prices. In my opinion, about this, I strongly agree that production enterprises should produce things with long warranty.

Improvement plan

Close to Band 5.0

Current Band 4.5

Target Band 5.0

  • Fewer basic grammatical errors across simple and complex sentences
  • More natural word choices and fewer word-formation errors
  • Better organized body paragraphs without fragmented single-sentence lines

Strengths

Task Response

The writer clearly establishes a definite position in the introduction and maintains it throughout the essay.

Weaknesses

Severe Grammatical Instability

High

Widespread errors in verb voice, auxiliary sequences, and tense control obscure meaning and impede readability.

Unnatural Collocations and Word Formation

High

Frequent non-standard pairings (e.g., 'sales goods', 'competitior's companies') and incorrect word forms reduce lexical precision.

Fragmented Paragraphing

Medium

The inclusion of isolated one-sentence paragraphs disrupts the logical flow and cohesive progression of the essay.

Priority improvements

  1. 1Improve Grammatical Control and Verb PatternsEliminate recurring errors with modal verbs, passive voice, and tense consistency to ensure sentences are grammatically clear and understandable.Impact: High
  2. 2Enhance Lexical Precision and CollocationsReplace unnatural word combinations and incorrect word forms (such as 'sales goods' and 'competitior's companies') with standard academic collocations.Impact: Medium
  3. 3Refine Paragraph Structure and CoherenceAvoid isolated single-sentence paragraphs and use varied cohesive devices instead of repetitive sentence-initial linkers.Impact: Medium

Error patterns

Band & CEFR

Band 4.5

B1

Confidence: High

Assessment summary

The essay addresses both views and provides a clear opinion, meeting the basic task requirements, but the development of ideas is limited and repetitive. Coherence is hindered by weak paragraphing and repetitive, mechanical linking. Lexical resource is basic with frequent word-formation and collocation errors. Grammatical control is weak, marked by severe verb-form errors, subject-verb mismatches, and awkward phrasing that frequently obscures meaning.

Scoring criteria

Strengths

  • Attempted complex structures include subordinate clauses and conditional constructions.

Weaknesses

  • Severe grammatical errors pervade the essay, including fundamental verb pattern errors ('ought to be produced', 'will start to produce... while... will protect'), subject-verb agreement issues, and tense confusion.
  • Error-free sentences are rare, and complex structures are almost universally malformed.
  • Punctuation and article omissions occur frequently.

Justification

Widespread, severe grammatical errors across simple and complex sentences severely distort meaning and require frequent rereading, reflecting Band 4.0.

Writing stats

Words
290
Paragraphs
5
Estimated time
3 min read
Grammar issues
10
Lexical suggestions
5
Major issues
19
Minor issues
3
Top error pattern
Non-Standard Word Choice and Collocation
Confidence
High