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Band 6.0CEFR B2Task 2303 words

Some people believe that technological advancements have made our lives simpler and more convenient, while others argue that these developments have led to a loss of important life skills. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

The essay addresses all parts of the prompt with a clear position and recognizable organizational structure. Vocabulary and grammatical control are generally adequate for a Band...

IELTS WritingCEFR B2Checked

Prompt

Some people believe that technological advancements have made our lives simpler and more convenient, while others argue that these developments have led to a loss of important life skills. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Essay review

Annotated essay

Interactive

Certain individuals hold an idea that in recent years, technology has enhanced the quality of people’s lives in every fields such as communication. Others argue that poor relationship between people in a society is a consequence of development in technology. I believe that although it might have a negative influence on the bond between people, its benefits over weights its drawbacks.

On the one hand, in cyber era, people have a tendency to spend their time on the internet rather than hanging out with each other face to face. In other words, they prefer to text each other and post a comment on social media platforms. For instance, it is claimed that most people waiting for their orders in restaurants use their smart phone for surfing in the net instead of communicating with their companies. Therefore, it might have a negative impact on the social bonds. That is to say, advancements in technology probably lead to secluded community.

On the other hand, technology has numerous advantages which makes the life more convenient. One of its benefits is in related to communication. It is probably true to say that technology promotes the methods of correlation. For example, in todays’ world, people are able to communicate with their friends and family members living abroad via video calls easily, while in the past they had to send mails or make calls which was probably expensive. Moreover, technology make education more convenient. Nowadays, there are countless websites providing an opportunity to learn every subject. For instance, youtube.com is one of them including many educational videos such as teaching a new language.

In conclusion, although development in technology may cause secluded society and deteriorate the bond between people, I strongly believe that its benefits cannot be unconsidered. Technology provide convenient in numerous aspects such as communication and education.

Improvement plan

Close to Band 6.5

Current Band 6.0

Target Band 6.5

  • Consistent grammatical control with fewer basic errors in subject-verb agreement and articles.
  • More precise academic vocabulary and natural collocations without word formation flaws.

Strengths

Task Response

Establishes a clear, nuanced position in the introduction that is maintained throughout the essay and restated in the conclusion.

Coherence

Uses standard paragraph opening signals to guide the reader through opposing viewpoints.

Weaknesses

Subject-Verb Agreement and Pluralization Errors

High

Frequent agreement mismatches across the essay reduce grammatical accuracy.

Collocation and Word Formation Inaccuracies

Medium

Non-standard lexical pairings such as 'in related to' and 'over weights' lower the precision of lexical resource.

Priority improvements

  1. 1Eliminate Subject-Verb Agreement ErrorsEnsure singular subjects like 'technology' are paired with correct verb forms ending in '-s' ('provides', 'makes'), and maintain plural consistency.Impact: High
  2. 2Improve Lexical Collocations and Word FormsAvoid awkward word combinations such as 'in related to' or 'over weights' by learning standard academic collocations.Impact: Medium
  3. 3Refine Article and Determiner UsagePay closer attention to countable versus uncountable noun rules and the use of definite/indefinite articles with general concepts.Impact: Low

Error patterns

Band & CEFR

Band 6.0

B2

Confidence: High

Assessment summary

The essay addresses all parts of the prompt with a clear position and recognizable organizational structure. Vocabulary and grammatical control are generally adequate for a Band 6, though there are frequent recurring grammar errors such as subject-verb agreement mismatches, article omissions, and awkward lexical collocations.

Scoring criteria

Strengths

  • Demonstrates control over simple sentence structures and attempts complex structures using subordinate clauses (e.g., 'although it might have a negative influence...').

Weaknesses

  • Frequent grammatical errors occur, including subject-verb agreement mismatches ('technology make', 'Technology provide'), missing articles ('in cyber era'), and pluralization issues ('every fields').
  • Control over verb forms and prepositional phrases is inconsistent.

Justification

The frequent errors in grammar and punctuation—particularly subject-verb agreement and article use—impair clarity in places and warrant a Band 5.5.

Writing stats

Words
303
Paragraphs
4
Estimated time
3 min read
Grammar issues
8
Lexical suggestions
6
Major issues
7
Minor issues
5
Top error pattern
Subject-Verb Agreement Mismatches
Confidence
High