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Band 3.5CEFR A2Task 2159 words

Some people think it does not matter if a professional sportsman or sportswoman misbehaves on or off the field if they play well. What is your opinion about this?

The essay falls short of basic requirements due to severe and pervasive grammatical, spelling, and lexical errors that severely impede communication. While a basic position is d...

IELTS WritingCEFR A2Checked

Prompt

Some people think it does not matter if a professional sportsman or sportswoman misbehaves on or off the field if they play well. What is your opinion about this?

Essay review

Annotated essay

Interactive

Professional sports both man and woman should combined both good behaves and attitude with play will.

According to my prospective, i think playes have so many fans which are coping their behavior and attitude further more they take them as their role models especially those younger kids and teenagers.

Players are representing thier institutions and clubes, so if some player misbehaves in the field i thinks its reflect their club vision and values, a survey and study made in United States in 2015 about what's attracting team supporters in any club or sports, and the results came that 60% of people starts to like and support the club from one famous player which acts and play in a certain way.

Finally, attitude and behavior matters in any feild and area, specially in formal and worldwide institutions and industries and the most important in my opinion for sports because it's represent and connected to the player community, country and environment.

Improvement plan

Close to Band 4.0

Current Band 3.5

Target Band 4.0

  • Fewer basic grammatical and spelling errors that impede reading
  • Basic sentence boundary control without persistent run-on structures

Strengths

Task Response

The writer clearly establishes a personal stance regarding sports behavior, even though the expression is heavily flawed.

Weaknesses

Severe Sentence Boundary and Grammar Control

High

The essay is characterized by fused sentences, run-on structures, and frequent grammatical errors that obscure the meaning.

Pervasive Spelling and Affixation Errors

High

Frequent misspellings of common words like 'playes', 'thier', 'clubes', and 'feild' lower the lexical score.

Limited Argument Development

Medium

Ideas are asserted rather than extended, resulting in shallow development and weak support.

Priority improvements

  1. 1Improve Sentence Boundary ControlEliminate run-on sentences and comma splices by breaking long clauses into distinct, punctuated sentences.Impact: High
  2. 2Fix Subject-Verb AgreementEnsure that verbs agree with their grammatical subjects in number and person across all clauses.Impact: High
  3. 3Correct Basic Spelling ErrorsReview and correct recurrent spelling mistakes such as 'playes', 'thier', and 'feild'.Impact: Medium

Error patterns

Band & CEFR

Band 3.5

A2

Confidence: High

Assessment summary

The essay falls short of basic requirements due to severe and pervasive grammatical, spelling, and lexical errors that severely impede communication. While a basic position is discernible, the lack of coherent paragraphing, sentence boundary control, and proper vocabulary prevents the development of a coherent argument.

Scoring criteria

Strengths

  • A few simple clause structures are attempted.

Weaknesses

  • Pervasive grammatical errors including severe subject-verb agreement issues, incorrect verb forms, and fused sentences.
  • Total absence of complex structures executed correctly.

Justification

Grammatical control is extremely weak throughout the text, featuring frequent sentence boundary errors and major structural breakdowns, warranting a Band 3.0.

Writing stats

Words
159
Paragraphs
4
Estimated time
2 min read
Grammar issues
13
Lexical suggestions
6
Major issues
17
Minor issues
3
Top error pattern
Subject-Verb Agreement and Verb Form Errors
Confidence
High