Back to examples
Band 6.0CEFR B2Task 2269 words

Some people think that because some children find some subjects such as mathematics difficult, it ought to be optional instead of compulsory. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this option?

The essay presents a clear position disagreeing with making mathematics optional, supported by relevant arguments concerning life skills and career opportunities. Coherence is g...

IELTS WritingCEFR B2Checked

Prompt

Some people think that because some children find some subjects such as mathematics difficult, it ought to be optional instead of compulsory. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this option?

Essay review

Annotated essay

Interactive

It is argued that learning mathematics is difficult for certain children so the subject should be treated as an optional one at school instead of compulsory. This article wholeheartedly criticizes this assertion due to the justifications and illustrations provided below.

Making mathematics optional could result in a lack of necessary life skills. This is because it is essential for all students to have a basic understanding of mathematics as it is fundamental to the learning of other subjects and practical life. Mathematics fosters logical reasoning and critical thinking skills that are invaluable in daily life. More specifically, basic math concepts like addition and subtraction can assist in shopping, budgeting, and even time management, making children more confident and capable of handling everyday tasks effectively.

Another reason why making mathematics compulsory is the subject plays a crucial role in a child's future career opportunity. That is to say that mathematics is a universal language that is very essential in understanding many important aspects of life such as science, technology, engineering, and STEM fields. Making mathematics optional may result in a knowledge gap among students and limit their future educational and career prospects. For example, a student excelling in math may become a successful engineer, able to solve complex technical issues, while another who struggles with math might find it challenging to pursue such career.

In conclusion, it is very important to consider studying mathematics to be a required subject in school. Making the subject a mandatory one obviously brings out a number of benefits while making it optional may result in potential downsides to one's life skills and future profession.

Improvement plan

Close to Band 6.5

Current Band 6.0

Target Band 6.5

  • Greater control over complex grammatical structures without awkward phrasing.
  • More precise lexical choice with fewer repetitions of core prompt vocabulary.

Strengths

Task Response

Establishes a clear, definite stance in the introduction that is maintained throughout the essay.

Coherence

Clear topic sentence that sets the controlling theme for the entire second paragraph.

Grammar

Accurately integrates a relative clause to expand on a complex idea.

Weaknesses

Syntax and Predicate Errors

Medium

Occasional awkward structural linking within sentences, such as missing copulas or clumsy clause integration.

Lexical Repetition

Medium

Frequent repetition of core terms like 'mathematics' and 'optional' without sufficient lexical variation or pronouns.

Priority improvements

  1. 1Enhance Complex Sentence PrecisionEnsure all clauses are grammatically complete and linked correctly without awkward predicate gaps.Impact: Medium
  2. 2Expand Lexical Range and Avoid RepetitionReduce the repeated use of exact keywords like 'mathematics' and 'optional' by employing appropriate synonyms and pronouns.Impact: Medium

Error patterns

Band & CEFR

Band 6.0

B2

Confidence: High

Assessment summary

The essay presents a clear position disagreeing with making mathematics optional, supported by relevant arguments concerning life skills and career opportunities. Coherence is generally good with clear paragraphing, though vocabulary relies on some repetition and minor lexical inaccuracies. Grammatical control shows solid complex sentence attempts, but there are recurring awkward phrasings and minor agreement or stylistic lapses.

Scoring criteria

Strengths

  • Appropriate topic vocabulary such as 'logical reasoning', 'budgeting', and 'STEM fields' is used.
  • Attempts at academic phrasing are evident throughout the essay.

Weaknesses

  • Occasional awkward word choices and minor collocation slips ('career opportunity' instead of 'career opportunities').
  • Some repetition of high-frequency words like 'mathematics' and 'optional'.

Justification

An adequate range of vocabulary is displayed with some less common items, but occasional inaccuracies and repetitions keep the score at Band 6.0.

Writing stats

Words
269
Paragraphs
4
Estimated time
3 min read
Grammar issues
1
Lexical suggestions
5
Major issues
1
Minor issues
2
Top error pattern
Awkward Clause Linking
Confidence
High