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Band 4.5CEFR B1Essay189 words

The internet has transformed the way we live, but it has alos created problems that did not exist before. What are the most serious problems associated with the internet and what solutions can you suggest?

The essay addresses both parts of the prompt with brief, undeveloped arguments, but suffers from severe lexical repetition, frequent grammatical errors (including tense, punctua...

IELTS WritingCEFR B1Checked

Prompt

The internet has transformed the way we live, but it has alos created problems that did not exist before. What are the most serious problems associated with the internet and what solutions can you suggest?

Essay review

Annotated essay

Interactive

Some individuals consider that internet generated issue that wasn't exist before,while others think it has given many positive answers.This essay will discuss both views. And i believe that technology has had more benefits overall.

The primary negative point created by internet its that it steals the privacy from users, Although that it has conditions terms but what i mean with privacy it's that users start to publish their photos as a story every day , and this can help swindlers and obsessed people to spy on you easily.

Secondly, the influencers are giving this young generation incorrect concepts about life, because of the lifestyle they are posting in the internet.

However, the technology has had a big positive impact , furthermore it helped improving the way we live, into more easier and modern style.but we need to take all the necessary protections, which is believing only what we see in real life, moreover to be more responsible for what you post in social media to avoid being scamed or foold.

In conclusion, The internet has advantages and disadvantages,I consider for users to be more smarter while using this tool.

Improvement plan

Close to Band 5.5

Current Band 4.5

Target Band 5.5

  • Clearer sentence boundaries without comma splices
  • More developed body paragraphs with supporting examples
  • Fewer basic spelling and grammatical errors

Strengths

Task Response

The writer attempts to state a personal position in the introduction, even though the prompt format is a problem-solution task.

Weaknesses

Pervasive Grammatical and Punctuation Errors

High

Frequent tense mismatches, missing capitalization, and incorrect punctuation disrupt readability throughout the essay.

Underdeveloped Arguments

High

Body paragraphs provide assertions without substantive examples or logical extension.

Spelling and Word Choice Inaccuracies

Medium

Misspellings ('alos', 'scamed', 'foold') and awkward collocations reduce lexical effectiveness.

Priority improvements

  1. 1Eliminate Comma Splices and Improve Sentence BoundariesThe essay contains several comma splices and punctuation spacing errors that disrupt sentence structure. Using correct punctuation will significantly improve Coherence and Grammatical Accuracy.Impact: High
  2. 2Expand and Develop ArgumentationBody paragraphs consist of single, brief assertions without detailed explanation or concrete examples. Extending arguments with reasoning will raise the Task Response score.Impact: High
  3. 3Improve Verb Tense Control and SpellingFixing recurring errors such as 'wasn't exist', 'helped improving', and spelling mistakes like 'scamed' and 'alos' will enhance Lexical Resource and Grammar scores.Impact: Medium

Error patterns

Band & CEFR

Band 4.5

B1

Confidence: High

Assessment summary

The essay addresses both parts of the prompt with brief, undeveloped arguments, but suffers from severe lexical repetition, frequent grammatical errors (including tense, punctuation, and capitalization issues), and weak cohesion. The register is overly informal in places ('i', 'foold', 'scamed'), and paragraphs are underdeveloped.

Scoring criteria

Strengths

  • Basic sentence structures are occasionally attempted.

Weaknesses

  • Pervasive grammatical errors including missing subjects, incorrect tense control ('wasn't exist'), capitalization errors ('And i'), and faulty subordination ('Although that it has').
  • Punctuation is erratic, with missing spaces after commas and periods.

Justification

Errors are frequent and severe, causing frequent strain for the reader across simple and complex structures.

Writing stats

Words
189
Paragraphs
5
Estimated time
2 min read
Grammar issues
13
Lexical suggestions
5
Major issues
6
Minor issues
17
Top error pattern
Punctuation and Spacing Errors
Confidence
High