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Band 7.5CEFR C1Essay303 words

The most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answers and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

The essay presents a well-developed, clear position with relevant ideas and extended support, demonstrating strong cohesion and a wide lexical resource with only minor slips in ...

IELTS WritingCEFR C1Checked

Prompt

The most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answers and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Essay review

Annotated essay

Interactive

The main goal of scientific research ought to be to boost human well-being. I strongly concur with this perspective because scientific progress has not only elevated living standards but has additionally assisted in solving numerous of society's most urgent challenges.

One major cause why science should concentrate on bettering people's lives is its contribution to healthcare. Over the past century, scientific investigation has resulted in remarkable medical breakthroughs, encompassing vaccines, antibiotics, and advanced surgical techniques. These developments have considerably lowered mortality rates and raised life expectancy in numerous regions of the world. For instance, the discovery of antibiotics revolutionized medicine by empowering physicians to treat infections that were once fatal. As a consequence, millions of individuals have been enabled to live longer, healthier, and more productive lives.

Furthermore, science has transformed everyday life by making it more convenient and efficient. Technological innovations have enhanced communication, transportation, education, and countless other facets of contemporary society. Today, people can access information instantly, communicate across continents within seconds, and perform tasks that previously demanded considerable time and effort. For example, the internet and smartphones have altered the way individuals work, study, and interact with one another. Consequently, people are capable of saving time, boost productivity, and enjoy a higher quality of life.

Some people argue that the purpose of science should simply be the pursuit of knowledge, regardless of its practical applications. While expanding human understanding is undoubtedly significant, scientific discoveries ultimately achieve their greatest value when they benefit society. Therefore, improving people's lives should remain the foremost priority of scientific endeavor.

In conclusion, I strongly agree that the most important aim of science is to improve human well-being. Through advances in healthcare and technological innovation, science has dramatically enhanced the quality of life for people around the globe, making this objective both necessary and desirable.

Improvement plan

Close to Band 8.0

Current Band 7.5

Target Band 8.0

  • Eliminate all minor lexical awkwardness and non-target prepositions.
  • Ensure absolute grammatical parallelism across complex coordinate clauses.

Strengths

Task Response

Establishes a clear, nuanced thesis in the introduction that guides the entire discussion.

Task Response

Provides a concrete, localized historical example that successfully supports the main claim.

Coherence

Begins the body paragraph with a clear controlling topic sentence.

Vocabulary

Integrates sophisticated and accurate topic-specific collocations.

Weaknesses

Parallel Verb Form Inconsistency

Medium

Occasional errors in maintaining correct verb forms in coordinate structures (e.g., 'to save time, boost productivity').

Minor Quantifier Preposition Error

Low

Using 'numerous of' instead of 'numerous' or 'many of'.

Priority improvements

  1. 1Refine Parallel Structures and CollocationsPay closer attention to parallel verb forms in complex lists and ensure exact collocations such as 'reason why' instead of 'cause why'.Impact: Medium

Error patterns

Band & CEFR

Band 7.5

C1

Confidence: High

Assessment summary

The essay presents a well-developed, clear position with relevant ideas and extended support, demonstrating strong cohesion and a wide lexical resource with only minor slips in grammar and collocation.

Scoring criteria

Strengths

  • Wide range of complex structures used with good overall control.
  • Sentences are generally accurate and error-free.

Weaknesses

  • Occasional grammatical lapses such as 'cause why' instead of 'reason why' and parallel verb form errors like 'boost productivity'.

Justification

The writer uses a variety of complex sentence types with good control, though isolated grammatical errors prevent a higher band.

Writing stats

Words
303
Paragraphs
5
Estimated time
3 min read
Grammar issues
2
Lexical suggestions
5
Major issues
0
Minor issues
3
Top error pattern
Minor Non-Target Phrase Form
Confidence
High